Men and women sitting facing each other
Spring is a chance to review relationships

April is coming soon. At the same time that new employees enter the workplace, many people may become bosses or leaders who organize the team.

By the way, are you confident in the guidance of your subordinates and juniors?

When I was a salesperson, I had the experience of instructing multiple staff members, and I remember having a hard time. Especially in the case of women, I want to be considered a "gentle and gentle person", so I get the impression that even in the situation where "this must be scolded", it is easy to fall into a dilemma that cannot be said severely.

Image of a woman holding her head
Do you think that "scolding = disliked"?

So, this time, I will introduce the tips of how to scold from the book "Anger Management Scolding Textbook" released today (March 29).

Anger management scolding textbook
"Anger Management Scolding Textbook" / Sogo Kagaku Shuppan

Let's learn how to scold well

This book explains the basics of scolding and advice on how to scold "by subordinate's anger type" from the perspective of anger management that controls anger. According to the book, "scolding is just a technique", and it is said that you will be better at the amount of practice you practice in the same way as sports and musical instruments.

Business person preaching
In other words, even if you avoid scolding, you will not improve

The author, Mr. Ando, defines scolding as "firstly a request to the other party, secondly a means of expressing one's feelings." If this is a scolding method that only explodes anger, the order will be reversed and it will not reach the other party's ears, so be careful.

NG words that should not be used

"Words" seem to be immediately conscious. The following words can lead to repulsion from the scolded side, so please check if you inadvertently say it.

1. 1. Words that go back to the past

"I've always wanted to say that."
"I've said it many times."
"Is it again?"

When scolding, it's basically just what happened at that place. Even if the formation becomes disadvantageous and pulls out the past, the other party will only be distrustful of "why now".

2. Words to blame

"Why can't you?"
"Why don't you do it?"

If you use the intimidating words of the questioning style, the scolded side will be atrophied. In order to prioritize the solution of problems, it is important to ask questions such as "How can I do it?" And "What do you think I can do next?" And make the other person think.

Image of a cat being preached
If you are strongly told, it will be atrophied ...

3. Strong expression


Using unilaterally categorized words in scolding situations can be an act of labeling. I want to try to express simple and accurate, saying "I'm late twice this week" instead of "I'm always late".

4. Degree words


Degree words are subjective and difficult to convey to the other party. Instead of "report properly", it is better to use concrete expressions such as "report here and here" and "what are the specific steps for countermeasures?"

You need to be aware of this way of speaking at the beginning, but as you get used to it, you will be able to use it unconsciously. Looking at it again, the bad scolding is similar to what adults said when they were children and felt "unreasonable" ... If you want to review your relationships in earnest this spring, please refer to it!